now i'm just pissed.

he was the one who started to pull away from the relationship first. he was the one who made me feel like I had to walk on eggshells and who started being on the computer all the time first. he has always been the one who is always on the computer for as long as i can remember.

he is the one who always chooses friends over me. he is the one who is always chatting online with someone. always texting people. he will talk on the phone with other people but not me.

I'm fucking tired of not being first in his life. maybe I should just call is quits. I don't want to live my life being number 2. everyone gets put before me. he can be so nice to everyone else but then is a completely dick to me. he can go out of his way for other people but not me. he thinks about other peoples feelings but not mine.

I don't know if I want to work this out anymore...

there are things I need to change, but there are things he needs to change too, and we have talked about them at length and he goes along with it for a week or two, but then it's the same thing.

I put in effort after the last talk we had. I would turn off my computer and hope to have a conversation but then two minutes later he would turn his on.

I'm fucking tired of being the one to put in effort. because honestly, he really doesn't at all. maybe if he spent all the time he does talking to other people, and talked to me half as much as them, things wouldn't be so bad. but he doesn't even try anymore and he expects me to change? that's bullshit.

a relationship is a two way street. if you're done putting in the work, then why should I still be trying? it's not okay.

we really need to talk because the more I sit here and think about it closer I am to calling it quits.